Life is a Bitch!

...and it certainly is a blessing, but why is it so damn hard? I guess if it was easy, then there really would be absolutely no point in us being alive. I get that, however, I think people and these bullshit ass life rules that have developed over time makes absolutely no sense to me.

We are already born in this mothafucker confused, nervous, and excited about even having a life, but who in the hell's bright idea was it to make it so damn complicated? The people as a whole? The government? Some bitter ass person who decided to make the world bitter as hell, too? I mean, come on with the games. This is so aggravating.

I think I, just like a lot of young people in their twenties, had my whole life figured out, planned, the degree I was aiming for, who I was going to marry, how many kids we were going to have, my profession, even down to the car I was going to drive - my bright pink Barbie Corvette (still getting that though). By the time I hit 29, it hit really hit me that these Princess Disney movies and their happily ever after bullshit played the fuck out of my ass. I felt like I spent most of my twenties bullshitting around and wasting valuable time. I had fun, but still, just unnecessary.

Now that I am 30, I have managed to accomplish a lot of things from that list, but my mindset is totally different, as it should be. Not only is my mind set on my kids futures, current and future educations,  but also on running my business and making sure that its prosperous and it has longevity. It's set on paying bills, managing savings, life insurance policies, the whole nine yards. Obviously, I'm not getting any younger and neither are my children.

At  this point, I'm also focused on how to become a better person, how to function in a world that's clearly dysfunctional, what is my actual purpose in life, what can I do and how can I do it to get to my destiny, and most importantly, is this what God wants me to do. I know it's a lot of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, smiles and tears that come into play with all of that, but damn it, why couldn't we be born into life with unique handbooks?

My curiosity of/on/about life and the need to understand what the fuck I'm really doing here is great. I don't want to wait until I'm dead to have all the answers. I need them now!!!

PS. I ain't complaining just for me, I"m complaining for everybody!